Assalamualaikum and good night people..tonight, i was supposed to write something happy, encouraging for i already left my blog over 2 months. but again, i do not have that much to talk about happy hours for my life lately wounding with great sadness..i can't put my feelings on icons, they are no match with what i truly felt.
I don't know what have i done over last 3 weeks. my tempered was all out of control, i can't afford to see people mistakes and weaknesses, great especially those pertaining me and my stuff. i can easily get mad! but really though, this is all sudden phenomena happen in certain times. i can't really explain why am i get mad over weeks without no clear points, but it keep happen and i don't know why.
i supposed this was normal at first, getting angry? who not? but i can get my mood in very baddest condition for more than 3 weeks. and what happen within those weeks, i kept myself in my room, i try to isolating myself from people around so i will not get people into any emotional harms even i know they did thought something "ominous" could happen worst if they mess up.
for now i'm trying to hold my anger, i can't really do nothing. just write this feeling down with emo-explanation and i try to construct words as polite as possible.
is it normal? i wanna ask my dear friends, whom they have this reasonable explanation so that i know how to go deep to find the causes and solve those at the same time.
and the worst part is, i let all this anger turn over my bf. how besotted i am. sayang, i know u quite hurt when i constantly let my anger out to you, and i do thank Allah for giving me someone nice and patient like you. I love you and really, i mean it. i meant no hurt nor harm. it's just i can't help it. owh gee, i'm crying. i can't even posses how great that hurt u got when i did something ruthless and yet pretending like "he's ok". really, i do mean my highest apology about all these things going on especially to you.
i know, people can keep saying this, madness drove my way to immature, etc..but yet, my love akey, do really understand what am i going through. and i keep letting him down! really sayang, forgive your hubby. listen to the background song, "when it's for real it's forever so don't forget about us". i indicate that line for just a simple specification towards us. I LOVE YOU.
perhaps today entry was a little longer, and thanks for hearing my little inner voice out. this is sincerely go for my love. and those ones i hurt, i do demand forgiveness. i really never meant it to be that way. :'(
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